Billionaires Blast Off
The mega-rich escape the climate change they created, plus what question is really off-limits?
RANT: BILLIONAIRES BLAST OFF
KIM’S RANT: When I was a kid, one of my favorite skits in The Muppet Show was Pigs in Space. I loved the silliness of the title, the misadventures of the three porcine astronauts, not to mention Miss Piggy’s rocking silver suit.
There was a time when space travel, NASA, the moon-landing (and yes, it really DID happen) and the space shuttle were signs of optimism and the untapped ingenuity of humankind. But the recent rocket launches of dueling billionaires Sir Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos, with a third space flight coming up from Elon Musk, has more of a decidedly James Bond villain vibe. Perhaps it’s because watching in the richest men on earth escape our burning planet, when the rest of us have no choice but to battle climate change (and its deniers) is actually more depressing than hopeful.
Branson, the toothsome buccaneer of Virgin Atlantic fame, has long been a colonialist when it comes to final frontiers, though with mixed results. He shelved the Deep Flight Challenger, which was to transport him to the deepest depths of the ocean, the Mariana Trench. But on July 11, Branson and three other humans went to deep space aboard the Virgin Galactic supersonic rocket. The Brit billionaire plans to make further test runs this year before opening up ticket sales to the masses at more than $200,000 a seat.
The morning of his space ride, Branson tweeted a photo of himself with fellow rich guy and space colonialist Elon Musk, whose SpaceX company is the sole contractor for NASA lunar-lander program. Nothing says you’re rich like not wearing shoes.
When Bezos landed on July 20 after his 11-minute joy ride he said thanked people during a press conference. "I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer because you guys paid for all this."
Yup. That’s why Amazon employees apparently toil away in horrible work conditions, and why millions sought out Amazon home deliveries during the pandemic. So the big man can launch himself into space in a rocket shaped like a dildo. His space company, Blue Origin, and the rocket, New Shepard, is part of a master scheme to one day have people work and live in space. No word if Prime will still offer same day delivery of your 4K Fire TV stick if your postal code is Martian.
It is any surprise that Change.org created a petition to not allow Bezos to return to earth? It garnered nearly 200,000 signatures. But return he did, fist pumping and champagne guzzling.
As for me, I’ll stick to the Muppets for my space distraction.
The Big Q:
Dear Kim and Ceri,
My husband and I have been married for just under two years - meaning we only had a few months out in the world as newlyweds before Covid struck. I know I should be excited to see friends and family again - we’re double vaxxed! - but I’m absolutely dreading it. My in-laws had a backyard barbecue a couple of weeks ago and six out of ten people there asked me when we’re going to have a baby. Then last week I got together with my book club - all women I haven’t seen IRL since the pandemic. Two of them would not let it go. They started by joking, like, “Ha, ha, tick tock, honey!” Then they were really pressing me about it saying the longer I waited, the harder it would be to handle the sleepless nights. And here’s the thing: I’m dying to have those sleepless nights! We started trying to get pregnant before we got married. I’ve had three miscarriages in a row and the last one was brutal. I was 11 weeks along. Because it all happened during quarantine and it doesn’t feel like something you text or email friends about, not a lot of people know. I’m beyond discouraged and I just can’t face any more questions. What should I say to people?
Best,
Thinking of staying home forever.
WHAT CERI SAYS: Oh, TOSHF, I’m so sorry. I am part of the same shitty club and had a lot of losses before having my kids. Miscarriages are horrible in every way - physically, emotionally and socially. Losses usually happen so early that you haven’t even disclosed your pregnancy. People are asking what they think is a normal question - you’re married so now you must be wanting to have a baby - without knowing about the sadness you’ve been going through. But it’s a really lame excuse. I feel like every time some high profile person like Chrissy Teigen, Meghan Markle or Beyonce has a miscarriage, the conversation goes like this: “Why don’t we talk about miscarriages more? They’re so common!” It’s true that they’re common - between 10 to 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. So enough already, people should do better on this subject! When you’re asking a woman when she’s going to have a baby, it’s not at all unlikely that she’s trying to and hasn’t yet been able to maintain a pregnancy.
I know this doesn’t speak to your situation TOSHF, but not every woman wants to have kids. Assuming you know what a woman intends on doing with her body and family is some top level sexist bullshit.
I wish I could tell you that it gets better. But once I had my daughter, a colleague urged me to have another in case my first child died. Seriously.
Our friend and former Fashion Magazine colleague Lesa Hannah recently wrote a really moving piece for Today’s Parent about the gap between her first and second kid and how miscarriages played a role. Like you, TOSHF, Lesa got some pretty appalling questions from people she knew as well as people she didn’t. Luckily for us, Lesa is hilarious, smart and no stranger to a snarky clap back. So, obviously, we asked her to weigh in.
Lesa says: “In this instance, no need to tread lightly since the person asking clearly didn't. I would be brutally honest because it means you don't have to think of a polite-yet-passive-aggressive way to reply on the spot and it will (or it should) put them in their rightful asshole place. Go with something like ‘Trying but failing, thanks very much!’ or ‘When one sticks, I'll let you know!’ Now fuck off (you can say this part in your head).”
Thank you, Lesa, well said. TOSHF, I hope that we’ve helped you face the world with a little less trepidation. And we wish you all the best in whatever way things play out. Good luck!