RANT & RAVE: WHY WOULD SHE WEAR THAT? BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO!
Ceri’s RANT & RAVE: It’s profoundly depressing to me how much policing of women’s appearance still goes on - and not just from corporations, organizations and men, but from other women, too (see our Big Q below). So this week I’d like to pour one out for the women - in the face of the world’s ongoing and super lame misogyny - who say nah, I’m gonna wear what I want.
Let’s start with the badasses pictured above. The Norwegian women’s beach handball was fined 1,500 euros for wearing the shorts seen in this photo at a tournament in Bulgaria, rather than the requisite bikini bottoms. According to the International Handball Federation, uniform bikini bottoms must be cut on an upward angle at the top of the leg and have a side width no greater than 3.9 inches. Although singer Pink offered to pay the fine for them as a sign of her solidarity, the Norwegian Handball Association announced they were proud to cover the fines for their athletes. Trying to save face, the International Handball Federation says it will be donating the money to an international sports foundation that supports equality for women and girls. To which, everyone said: guys, go fuck yourselves.
And let’s talk about this baller move. German gymnasts showed up to the Olympics in Tokyo looking like actual super heros in their unitards, rather than the standard high cut leotards of every other team.
The team and their coaches designed the unitards in an effort to push back against the sexualization of gymnasts. Given the horrendous abuse that has been uncovered in the sport, this just seems like a very good place to start. And surely these have to feel better than the perma wedgie that most other female gymnasts compete in? Am I the only one who worries for those young women that something might pop out of those leotards? Seriously, is there two sided tape in the leg opening of those things? Plus, bonus points for leaving the glittery hair bows at home.
And my final toast is to the mighty Paulina Porizkova. At 56, Porizkova looks better than most people can ever dream of at any age. She’s still got those husky-blue eyes, pronounced cheek bones and legs for days. And, of course, she knows it - she’s been a supermodel since the time she was 18! Alongside snaps of her sons, her dogs, her travels, she often shares both professional and candid shots of her own gorgeous body on Instagram. And then she’ll post a collage of the ugly comments she receives in response. Some urge her to get a face lift. Some complain she’s done too much to her face. Many call her desperate, needy, gross. They attack her relationship with deceased husband Ric Ocasek. They try to insult her by saying that she’s not aging well. Her real crime seems to be in enjoying herself and her body as a woman of 56. I mean, how revolting, right? How dare she not take 2016’s viral The Last Fuckable Day video seriously?
And so I say, fuck those guys, Paulina. Fuck those guys.
KIM’S RANT & RAVE: What Ceri said! And what these recent examples of “not a wardrobe malfunction” also reminds me of the high-heel shoe “rule” at the Cannes Film Festival. Back in 2015 several women were refused entry to the female-centric lesbian drama Carol because they wore flats.
The following year, Julia Roberts went barefoot in a show of defiance. Then in 2018, actress Kristen Stewart famously removed her heels while on the red carpet in protest. The previous year Stewart said in an interview, “If you’re not asking guys to wear heels and a dress, you cannot ask me either.”
All these rules and dress codes try to insist that in many sporting and cultural events, men provide the athleticism and business, women provide the entertainment. And we’re not having it.
THE BIG Q:
Dear Kim and Ceri, I’m over 45 and in good physical shape, and I like to think I’m stylish. But recently, my best friend informed me that I should toss my skinny jeans because they were the laughing stock of so-called Gen Y. She forced me to watch TikTok as proof. Is this true? Are skinny jeans done for women of a certain age?
Skinny Jean Lover
What Kim Says: Dear Skinny Jean Lover, the short answer is “no.” Generation Y, or any person of any age for that matter, need to get over themselves when it comes to dictating or criticizing another human’s style choice. I’m completely over fashion do’s and don’t’s for women of any age, quite frankly. There was even an insane “study” in 2016 that said women over 53 should quit denim altogether. Yeah, right. I’d like someone to tell Jane Fonda, rocking black skinny jeans below, to switch to elastic waistbands and polyester. So next time your BFF serves up sartorial tips, take her shopping with you, buy whatever the fuck you want, and let her watch with envy as you enjoy your fashion freedom.
What Ceri Says: As a former fashion magazine editor, I can’t help but pay attention to what’s going on in the world of trends. And sure, the trend in denim right now is toward a wider leg and a looser fit. For those who want to stay current, there’s no end to sources that will tell you what is going on. But who cares? Surely one of the privileges of being a grown ass woman is that you get to decide for yourself which trends to get on board with and which ones to sit out. To be honest, my concern is about your best friend. She really felt the need to tell you that your style isn’t up to snuff? Are you sure she’s your best friend?
But since Skinny Jean Lover’s question was trending on social media for a red hot minute we decided to ask an expert. We posed the Big Q to the fabulous Derick Chetty, fashion stylist and former fashion writer at The Toronto Star.
What Derick Says: Most certainly you should not listen to anyone on Tik Tok - they have the attention span of 6 seconds!
Just look around and you'll see a plethora of skinny jeans on a variety of ages. This style of denim is not just a trend anymore but has entered the style lexicon as a silhouette - much like straight leg or boot cut.
One fashion maxim you should adhere to: always dress for your body type.
If you feel comfortable in skinny jeans and they look flattering on your legs and body, by all means go for it! Just keep a few things in mind - get a pair with some stretch for comfort. Also keep an eye on the rise - if your underwear is showing, it's too low a waistband. Then get out there and kick it up on TikTok!